Was That As Good For You As It Was For Me
by somethinggeeky
Summary: "A man should not be judged for his actions, but for his intent" Auggie's past choices come back to haunt him as Annie and Jai go on a mission together. First Fan Fic ever. There may be some strong language latter on.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my first fanfic ever. I own nothing, but I love the show. Please review, and be honest. Also, I know it starts a little bleak, but I swear it won't be super angsty.

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**"Was That as Good for You as it Was For Me?"**

A man should not be judged for his actions, but for his intent. As far as mantras go, it left something to be desired, but still, Auggie thought, sometimes you just have to lie to yourself. It amazed him how quickly things had spiraled out of his control, how one small, vindictive decision had become a variable landslide of mistakes.

"Would you care to repeat that?" A voice came from his left. God, that voice. It was the first thing that had attracted his attention to her, all those nights ago before he had known how valuable she might be. Husky, low, sweet. She sounded like pure sex. Since losing his sight, Auggie had found that voice, unlike wrists, were a far more accurate way to judge a girl. After all, did it matter how beautiful she might theoretically be if she sounded like a helium soaked Chihuahua?

It had been the voice that drew him in, and the wit that made him stay. He knew that she was a beautiful woman, he could hear it in the way other men talked to her, flirted with her. And didn't she have to be beautiful, wasn't that part of the job description? But in getting to know her, he had been impressed to find that she was more. She was smart and quick, and more importantly, she was tenacious. Beauty, brains, ambition; all the things that Auggie wanted in a woman, rolled into one hell of a package. Their relationship was supposed to have been an easy trade off. She had helped him to scratch a few of his baser urges, and he, he would help her to become a household name. That thought turned his stomach.

"Auggie, I need you to repeat that. I need a full quote if I'm going to be able to break this story for Tuesday's news," Liza Hearn said. She grabbed his hand, and Auggie jerked it back slightly, trying to play it off. She couldn't know he found her to be revolting now.

"Oh, sorry, got a little lost up in here." He tapped at his temple. "Right, anyway. There is a possibility that the Central Intelligence Agency has someone named Malory Plaine, or as you would know her, Sarah Rinkler, on staff." The words tasted bitter on his tongue, and he yearned for a drink. He had just knowingly ended a woman's career. At least he didn't have to look himself in the mirror.

He felt Liza lean in. Her voice was raised in excitement, almost breathless. "The governor's wife! This story just got twenty times more interesting. Oh Auggie. This could get me on CNN!" He could practically hear her grin, and imagined the Cheshire Cat would have be jealous of it. "I can't thank you enough." She kissed him then, as he knew she would. She thought that she was seducing the information out of him, which rankled slightly. She didn't know that he had been a field agent, and a damn fine one at that. A hot little piece of ass wasn't going to get his lips moving. This information drop was cold, calculated.

He felt sick.

"She works as a honeypot. She was attached to a security advisor for President Medvedev in 2008. She gathered information from him, but the timing could suggest a little more. I won't give you anymore than that, but God; it should be more than enough." Auggie's voice was icy. "And this is it. We're through. I'm not giving you anything more. You should go."

"What! You're not giving me anymore?" She snapped.

"Ever. We're over." he said. "Now leave."

"This was your idea August. You came to me. You found me. You were so bitter, so angry. 'My country took everything from me, and all I get is a lousy desk job.' Sound familiar? All I did was help convince you how to stick it to them." And there was the shrill Chihuahua voice. Wonderful. Clearly she wasn't taking their break up well.

Auggie was not a violent man. He was not the type to fly into a temper. He, like The Cornel, his stern, autocratic father, was a stewer, a pot that boiled over frighteningly, but without regularity. So when he lost his temper, it was quite simply frightening. He felt the haze of anger, and enjoyed it. Rage was a far better companion than self-loathing after all. However, he couldn't let that dam break. He could let a little trickle out though.

"I told you to go. Now. Get the hell out of my house!" He snarled, grabbing her arm and shoving her towards the door. She let out a small sound, a little pant of fear. That turned the fire in his belly to ice. It wasn't satisfying to frighten and manhandle a woman, and it went against everything that he had be taught. No matter what he might think of Liza, no matter how he might hate her, and hate what he had become because of her, he still felt a pange of guilt.

"Fine," She spat. "I'm gone." She turned, and he listened to the staccato of her heels on the hardwood floor as she made a hasty retreat, heard the hinge of his front door scream as she opened it, and the loud thud as she slammed it shut.

Auggie walked the 16 steps to his liquor cabinet, opened it and reached up and to the left for his scotch. Then he reached down and to the right for a tumbler. He poured counting to three to fill the glass up, and drank. It burned his throat on the way down.

It tasted like guilt.

It tasted like shame.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the feedback y'all. This one is a bit longer, and sorry in advance about the major chunk of exposition in the middle. I wasn't sure how else to do it. Also, this was written pre- In The Light and I am too lazy to change anything, although for the most part, it still rings true. Not mine, but please R+R.**

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**And Now for Something Entirely Different 

"God, these missions are the best aren't they?" Annie said, trying to sound as chipper as can be. "I can't tell you how I dreamed of sitting in a hotel room all day, listening to," she paused to glanced down at the readout, "Oooohhh Frankie, right there, oh god, oh GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD. Being a spy is totally the bee's knees."

"Do you mind not pouting so much Walker?" Jai, loathsome, arrogant Jai, snipped.

"I am not pouting. I'm being ironic." She might have been whining a little, but really, who wouldn't at this point. They had been listening in on 'Mr. and Mrs. Johnson' for the better part of a day now, and there was no sign that they were anything other than an very… adventurous American couple on their honeymoon in Berlin.

"You're being obnoxious."

"Hey!" Annie exclaimed.

"At least they are giving us something to listen too. One of my first recons, I was in London, in the middle of the summer, hot as can be. We were following intel that put Herman Forrètt in a local warehouse. I spent two days listening to the local fisherman yammer about how their catch was, did they think the weather would hold up, the new busty waitress at the local watering hold. I practically died of boredom. Here, we're getting a show." Jai got up, shrugged his shoulders, and turned to her with a charming smile. "Wanna, shall we say, pass the time?"

"If you're implying that we join in the… show, you are about ten seconds away from me kicking your ass."Annie hissed, insulted. Not that listening to the "Johnsons", the supposed cover for a pair of ruthless assassins, hadn't gotten her a little hot and bothered, but still, it was Jai. The thought of her and him was kind of…. Gross. She preferred her men with shaggy brown hair and a sense of humor.

He laughed.

"I was thinking more along the lines of cards and conversation," he said. "But that's would be a lot more fun.

Annie blushed, much to her dismay. Somewhere inside of her, a small voice came up saying 'nine months'. She managed to quell it, but it made the flush even fiercer.

"Right. That sounds like a much better idea," she mumbled slightly in her embarrassment.

She go up from her place by the window and walked over to the table that he was sitting. While she did, she looked once again that the room she had be trapped in for the past 14 hours. The hotel room they were in was directly below the Johnson's honeymoon suite. It was a large, lavish, and very, very pink. The bedspread, the awning striped chairs, the curtains, the flowers, and even the towels in the bathroom where all various shades of coral, fuchsia, salmon, bubblegum pink. It was like being stuck in Barbie's Dream Stakeout. The pink more than anything else, even the company, made Annie stir crazy. She also knew that Auggie had booked this room specifically. She was going to have to punish him when she got back.

She remembered that she had foolishly been excited about the idea of a surveillance mission. It had seemed almost glamorous, compared to the past few brush passes and dead drops. It was almost cloak and dagger. Their targets were two of Interpol's most wanted; a pair of married assassins with ties to several murders of prominent global figures. The report on them had been fairly slim, but an alias of theirs had popped up making reservations of a Berlin hotel. A hotel just a few blocks away from the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche where the Secretary of State was to give her address on the new age of German-American relations. An assassination attempt would be catastrophic to say the least.

The climate between the U.S. and Europe had gotten a little chilly lately, with the leak of information about Sarah Rinkler and the speculations that the CIA had had some involvement in the bloody battle between Georgia and Russia. As one pundit had put it "The United States needs to not only carry a smaller stick, but also needs to stop trying to play with everyone elses." It had been a PR nightmare.

That being said, a small, miniscule part of Annie was glad that Rinkler had been exposed. It had got her pulled out of the farm and into the field quicker. If they hadn't needed someone to full Rinkler's Louboutin's, she might have been given a desk job, pushing paper for years before she saw a glimmer of the field. She knew that her jump from the farm to the field was irregular, but who was she to question a decision that worked out in her favor?

"So, poker? Or are you more of a gin girl?" Jai asked, pulling Annie into the present.

"Oh, poker. Although, I should probably tell you that I'm not a huge card player." Annie said sweetly. "Don't get your hopes up."

Jai grinned at that.

"Don't worry Helvetica. I'm a great teacher," he said, a little too smugly for Annie's taste. Whatever reservations she might have had for what she was about to do melted away.

"Ok Wilcox. Just go easy." Her voice couldn't have been sweeter.

He grabbed a deck out of his pocket, started shuffling. It was an easy action for him, something that he had clearly done thousands of times before. Annie filed that away.

"So you know the basic rules right?" Jai asked. "For stud, not hold 'em. Stud is a spy's game. Hold 'em is for tourists in Vegas." There was a slightly awkward pause, and Annie realized that he had been making a joke. She just nodded.

"Ok, the buy in should be, what, fifty bucks? Sound good?"

Annie sputtered slightly, for his benefit. "We're playing with actually money?"

"Well yeah. Unless you want to play strip, we play with cash. The CIA doesn't pay well enough for Berluti, and poppa needs a new pair of shoes." He grinned when she laughed at that. "Besides, I've seen your background check, I know you have deep pockets."

The laughter died in her throat, but she knew better than to express any outrage over the privacy invasion. He was not part of the DPD, he was a spy for Arthur Miller. Of course he had seen her background check, just like he had probably seen her case reports, her polygraph, probably even her high school transcripts.

"Just shut up and deal," she said, hoping it didn't sound to bitter.

Twenty minutes later, Jai slammed his hand down in frustration.

"You lying, scheming minx. You fleeced me," he exclaimed, sounding only half angry. He also sounded kind of, well, glad. Whatever the undercurrent was, Annie had a feeling it wasn't surprise.

"If you had seen my background check, you should have noticed that my dad was a champion poker player. He taught me everything he knew. Now pay up," Annie beamed at him, counting the tally that they had used to keep the bets. "Ouch, almost 400 dollars. I was hoping for a little more. Mama needs a new carburetor."

"Did he teach you how to con too?" Jai muttered.

"No. That I learned much, much latter."

"How?" he asked, and he actually sounded interested. Annie had a moment's reservation about delving into her personal life with him, but he was all that she had out here. It couldn't hurt to be a little friendly; after all they were basically on the same side.

"It was during the first year that I went backpacking. I was broke, and my parents had basically cut me off. They didn't approve. My mom kept telling me that I needed to come back to reality, that I needed to start actually living my life and stop vacationing. They didn't understand that I needed to be free for a while you know? That I needed to actually live before I started my 'real life'. I was an accounting major in college because it was practical, but the idea of a desk job terrified me. I had taken all of those languages, and I had never really had roots as a kid, so I thought that being a drifter, being a gypsy was the best possible way to live at the time. And it was great until all of my money dried up. So I did the only thing I could do, the only real skill that I had at the time. I played poker. At first, I played straight, but then, well, you'd be amazed how much more willing people are to put up a lot of money when a dumb blonde wants to play cards. It's how I made it to Sri Lanka actually," Annie cut herself off. That train of thought only lead to sadness, and betrayal.

"Sri Lanka?" Jai asked, obviously noting the change in her tone. Damn, damn, damn.

"It was the last stop on Annie's Grand Tour," she said, hoping that that would quell any more questions. "While I was there, I found out that my mom was sick, so I came back to the U.S." Brokenhearted and alone, she thought, though she didn't add it.

Jai started to say something, and there was sympathy in his eyes, but he was stopped short by a loud beeping coming from the machine to their left.

"Damn it," Jai yelled instead. "Their moving."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back! I'm moving into a new apartment on Sunday, and while I like to say that I've been busy packing, it's mostly just been hanging out and going away parties. And recovering from said going away parties. But I wanted to update. I know that this is super short, but I wanted to give you something. I've also been hammering down the plot in my head, so I promise that the next chapter will be 1) Longer and 2) More story and less filler.

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**Let's Get Dangerous**

"Damn it," Jai yelled instead. "Their moving."

"What? Your asset said," Annie started.

"I know what he said. It looks like he was wrong," Jai snapped cutting her off.

"So we just move the plan up. You tail them, and I go in as the maid. It shouldn't be that big of a problem," Annie said.

"Except that we don't know why they left early. They were supposed to wait until 9 to meet with our asset. They might suspect something."

"Or they might be hungry. They have been fairly, active for the past few hours. Or they want to take one last look at the church before they meet with Milner to get the info that we feed him. Or,"

"Or maybe we were wrong." Jai finished for her curtly. He was worried.

Annie was surprised at his reaction to this change in plan. The great spy, son of the "vortex of evil", was apparently highly flappable. Annie flied that away as well. One of the first things they taught you on the farm was to always be observant about people's behaviors, especially the people that you work with. When spies started acting weird, they didn't just steal staplers, they stole national secrets. Flame outs were very, very dangerous.

"As of right now, we have no way to prove that. We need to keep on mission. You go tail them, see what's up. I'll get my maid on," Annie said, as soothingly as she could manage.

"Don't be condescending. I have a fair bit more experience than you, and this is not something that usually happens," Jai responded. "But you're right. Protocol dictates that we stay on plan. But be very, very careful Annie." He seemed calmer, and was obviously formulating some plan in his head. Annie could practically see the wheels spinning. It struck her as slightly odd, but she wasn't going to press him about it.

"You too," Annie said.

As Jai hurried out of the room to catch the Johnsons, Annie went back to change into her maid's uniform. Much to her embarrassment, the hotel that they were staying at seemed to prefer the 'sex kitten' maid to the 'professional, dependable' maids of DC. She grabbed the access card that had given them access to the Johnson's room earlier to plant the bugs, and after one last glance over in the mirror, adjusting her hair into the perfect place, Annie slipped out.

It was true what they said about maids, Annie mused. They make the best cover. Even in her skimpy outfit, she was still practically invisible. If something went south, which it would not, no one would remember the little blonde maid. Hopefully. Still, she did her best to be covert, and was taken completely off guard when a woman stopped her.

"Entschuldigung! Sprechen sie englisch?" The woman asked her. She looked like a tourist, accent on the German, though not that heavy, sounded American. Annie did not have time for this. Jai was going to call her as soon as the Johnson's were entering the hotel, so she would have a heads up, but they were still operating one a dicey time schedule. Some confused American tourist was costing her precious time, but the woman was practically in hysterics. Annie bit her lip, and knew that either way she would regret the decision.

"Nein, Es tut mir leid," Annie let out. The woman just nodded, and moved on, looking even more distressed than earlier. Annie thought back to a conversation that she had had with Auggie. '_I want to know how dirty I'm going to get_.' She shouldn't feel guilty about putting national security in front of one woman that she had never even met, that she might not have even been able to help, but she couldn't help it. Pre-CIA Annie, hell, even Annie from her first missions would have at least tried to help. She might not be getting dirty, but she was changing. Annie didn't know if it was exactly for the better.

Attempting to put distance between her and the object of her guilt, Annie hurried to the honeymoon suite of the Johnsons. Annie went to swipe her access card, but then noticed that the door was slightly adjar. Alarm bells went off in her head. She wished that the CIA issued guns to their agents, or anything that made her feel a little safer. Well, she did have some pretty great hand to hand skills thanks to Auggie. Remembering their sparing sessions brought a rush of warmth up her chilled arms, and made her feel a little safer. Solid, safe, dependable Auggie who gave her the skills to keep her alive, and gave her the friendship to keep her sane. She would be fine.

Besides, they probably had just failed to close the door hard enough. She had noticed in her own room that the door was very heavy, and that it got stuck. Maybe this door just didn't close all the way. She needed to be calm.

But the voice in the back of her head was screaming "Trap, trap trapy trap trap."

Annie took a deep breath, steading herself, nudged the door open, and went it.

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I know, I'm evil. New update from the new apartment coming soon! Also, thanks again for the kind reviews and adds. You guys are great :) R+R please


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